Sunday, July 23, 2006
Drifting away from God. Relying on my own strength. What's happening? yup, i've been feeling stressed and so energy-drained these days. The A math this. Oh my. I actually blanked out during the test. And it nver happened before! to think I actually prayed before the tese. NO, I'm not blaming God here, but rather it's clearly seen that I've not trusted in the Lord enough to just trust and rely on Him, tha He'll bring me through. I was really very upset after that. There wasn't even a question where I could get the finak answer. It's gonna be the first time in my years of education that I'm gonna a single-digit for my test. But, that's not the point. The pint is that I've realised my 'drifting-away', it alerted me to this fact and showed me the very very importance of trusting and giving my all to God.
And, I've not being doing my quiet time. I've to admit this cos I don't think it's anything to hide. I know it but the problem is, I'm not working at it. I used t0o do it before homework. Now I don't even do it at all. I'm drawing strength from myself not God.
changeme.
1:16 PM
Saturday, July 08, 2006
I managed to get an Honours grade for my Grade 6 ballet exam! Praise the Lord. It's the second highest grade you can get and it was a great improvement form the last time. Really wann thank God. cos I think this time it's because I prayed more, and entrusted my all to Him, that i managed to get such good results! I had felt really relaxed when I went in to take the exam, never felt this way before! I'm just sooo happy :D
Oh, and guess what? We're putting up a performance soon, the following Sunday. Yup, am wuite excited about that.
Can't wait for this Sunday's band performance at Botanic Gardens too! We'll all be wearing our brand new band tee. it's black with gold desighn. Cool huh? haha. Oh and we'll be topping it off with a bright-coloured tie too. Just to look groovy! :D
Lastly but the most important of all, I wanna thank God once again for seeing me through this week It has been exhausting but He was there for me. :) God never fails! :) I'm still working at putting God first in my life and to really mean it. it's hard cos it just seems that so many other things are more important. But, still, I'm determined to let God take contorl of my life. Nobody else, not even me will be that control of my life except Jesus. Kick out self-pity. i want to be God-reliant.
changeme.
3:06 AM
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Oh oh oh, I just can't wait. I'm finally gonna get my pointe shoe tmr!! :D :D :D Hmm, but I'll be missing class cos for next Sunday's band performance. We're performing at Botanic Gardens. So cool huh? quite excite about that too. Bet it'll surely be a great perforamnce. :) but, thnan again, I'm gonna miss the contemp. class. Yup, we've been doing contemp. for the past few weeks. It's real fun cos all the movements are all very different and big...cutting space. The feeling is great; to actually feeling the vastness of space. :)
changeme.
9:30 AM
Saturday, July 01, 2006
Huge SIGH. This past week has been so so draining and exhausting. There was so much to do, especially with all the half-way done holiday homework that I was clueless about. I don't know about the others,...but I guessed that I hadn't expected this...I couldn't seem to accept the fact that it was only the first week of school and I was like already dying! I felt that I just couldn't keep up with the pace. I had expected the first week to be much more relaxed as everybody changed gear to the working mode. But, I think there's no time for this huh? Cluster arts fest, meeting, CCA, HOMEWORK,projects! I was so packed that I didn't even go for jap class the whole week...I really wonder how am I gonna catch up.
I found myself spending lesser and lesser time with God. My daily before-homwork-devotion time with God had gone down to zero. I was even falling asleep before I could say my prayer. I knew I had to do smth, but all else seemed more impt and urgent...NO. I was wrong. What could be more impt than God? Brenda reminded me to be God-reliant. I knew I had to be; cos It would simply too much for me to handle with my own strength (as I soon found out). It's like I knew I had to do it, but was I putting them into actions?I prayed that God would help me to seek Him in whatever circumstance I'm in, but did I do it? Did I put in any effort? I guess I must reflect ans work on this.
things I've learnt this week:
Praying NOW. Wherever circumstances bring me, I will always seek the Lord. Drawing on the grace of God in my moment of need.
"...having nothing...and yet posessing all things" -- This is poverty triumphant.
I wanna thank God for:
changeme.
9:18 PM