Saturday, November 17, 2007
Prelims are over. So are the O levels. I'm really relieved nad glad I pulled through. (:]<-- my smile of relief!) Countless thanks to God. If not for God's continuous strength and peace in me, I really wouldn't have made it at all.
But somehow..I don't feel as happy as I think I should be. It's like you're supposed to feel "Yes! Finally. No more studying!" but...It's like it's over. Secondary school is over. The 'O's are over.My ten years in St. Margaret's are over. I will no longer don the polka-dotted uniform. Is this a sense of loss I feel? I really don't know.
I feel so troubled these day. Faced with countless decisions to make. Where can I go with my sky-high prelim points? It's not that I'm not thankful that at least I'm eligible for the PAE. But you get the feeling that nobody's willing to accept you, no where to go cos your points are so high...panic starts to set in. You worry if any JC will accept you. You worry about the subject combinations. You're at almost a total lost as to what to do. I think, maybe that's why I dislike making decisions--why can't we just have everything? Why are we forced to make a choice?
That's life, some may say. I can't deny it. But do I have to accept it?
I think it's all part of growing up. A huge part of me doesn't want to grow up. cos I don't want to be faced with the responsibility of making choices and decisions. I want to be in the shelter of my parents. Still be a little girl.
I think it's time I rely on God. Rest in His peace and assurance. Sleep in among the sweet-smelling roses of God's promises. And be filled with God-breathed bravery to make the decisions that are always backed-up with God's support.
Lord,
This is your child, Tamlyn, calling out to You for help and guidance.
Hear my cry, O Lord.
Child of the Most High,
Tamlyn
changeme.
10:23 PM