Friday, June 12, 2009
Heyyo, I'm back! haha. Not that anybody's expecting...anyway, have been neglecting this place 'cause I've seen discovered the joys of facebooking! :) For me, it's not a social networking site, just a great place to share phtos with friends with so much more ease! haha. Just a little update:
June hols are here. Or maybe we should all just rename it - the June study break is here. Have been trying to study this past week...not sure if it's really quality work. 'cause I think compared to other people, I really need a whole lot more time to digest and understand some things plus it doesn't help that I'm already half a best slow in terms of reaction time. So I can only manage handling 2 subjects per day. And I need at least 2 days on average, sometimes more to revision for each chapter. AND, THERE'S ONLY SO LITTLE TIME LEFT!!! :( It doesn't help too, that I still feel lazy and slack a whole lot after I get home from school. Oh man. I hope I that the motivation gene in me gets activated, start sythesizing some good proteins and get them all amplified soon! My As! I need to ace them! (don't like that fact the exams are such life-determining factors. ( >~<)"""
ohoh.Before I forget...actually above all these grey glommy dreary clouds, there's actually something to rejoice after all! Dance achieved a gold award in this year's syf! Though it's not the highest award, I guess sometimes, we should just measure success by the amount of hard work pout it and just discard the world's standards aside for a while. Hmmm yup. Just really glad to be part of the whole team!! :) It was truly a wonderful experience and I've learnt a whole lot! haha. Special thanks to our dance instructors: Ms Wee and Zaki! Also, to our wonderful dance pres: Nat.A and the whole exco. And all my other wonderful dance friends and juniors who cheered me up, encouraged me and just hung in there with me together. Andrea, Sarah, Charmaine, Chmel, Danielle (thanks for doing me hair every time!) and Amanda (thanks for always helping me with the 'smiky eyes'!) You girls are the bestest!! :) Thank you! Most importantly, all thanks, praise and glory should always and rightfully belong to God, for it was and is only with Him that we managed to pull through it all together. Lod, thanks so so so much for being there, when accidents happened, when tensions were high, when the going got tough, thank you for stiking it out with us too, thank you for holding us together. Thank you for just being the You, the wonderful God. :)
Lord, I pray that as all of us start channelling our energies towards studying now, I pray for Your strength, will power , knowledge and wisdom to be upon us. Instil us a sense of discipline to study hard and to waste the precious time that You've so richly blessed us with away. Help us to carry out our job as students well and study hard to give You glory. Help me Lord to understand that no matter what the end result may be, what matters most in Your eyes is that all my actions, thoughts and words are glorifying to Your Name. Lord, I entrust my life into Your hands once again. Help me stay on track with You. Amen.
changeme.
9:32 PM
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Ten Things to Thank God For:
1. Giving me great results for Jap and GSC! (More than I deserved! He is a really a God that honours hardwork! Now, I must really work harder for GP and all my other H2s!!)
2. MSA results ( they were really sucky...but it was a wake-up call to study harder!)
3. Sushi buffet yesterday! HUGE thank you to Dolly, Dorita, Yi Fong and Joella! Love y'all!
4. Blessing me with great friends. :)
5. Cell mates and the chocolate cake!
6. Thank God for seeing all of us through BT1! (nest up bio SPA and BT2!)
7. blessing me materially (two flik flak watches for birthday! :D so happy!! and new phone on the way!)
8. Gift of my family
9. Thank God that I can go to school
10. and have a chance to do well..so I must work harder ya!
changeme.
10:59 AM
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
School's started. We're into the third week of lessons now and lectures, especially bio lectures have already left me desperately treading water to stay afloat. That's really bad. :( The first week of school felt like we were already months into the school term, probably cos of MSAs. Speaking about MSAs, my results are so bad that I don't even plan onj letting my mom know. SIGH. I'm just thankful that it's not counted for the As. Really really will need to work hard and ask more to if I wanna ace my As. It's a dream, make that a goal. A really tough one at that but I really want to give my all into it, before I even think of raising the white flag. And I have got to do that with God. My number one and greatest resolution for this year is to allow God to be BIGGER in my life. It sounds really simple, letting God reign in my life...It's like we always sing songs that declare that we would go to the ends of the world for God, to do this and to do that, but do we really mean what we sing? I think that's the question we all have to answer at some point in time. I know I'm so totally guilty of making empty promises to God, sometimes even trying to play hero and take matters into my own hands, make Godless decisions. And so, now because God has made me realise these dreadful attitude of mine that He so undeserves, I'm going to make this a challenge for myself. I want my life to be one that glorifies Him, that pleases Him, that screams "GOD RULES"! I want to be able to say, at the end of 2009, that I've grown, not older or taller (though I wish I will! >_<), but also spiritually. I want to be closer to Him so that I can hear His voice.
I don't want to be drifting in and out of life anymore. I don't want to just be caught up with the question marks and anxiety lectures, tests and exams fill me with. I don't want to be conscious of my wrongdoing yet refuse to do something positive about it, just becuase I'm too afraid to face up to it.
I want to live a life that gives Him, the Almighty One, my Utmost for His Highest.
It's not going to be easy. So Lord, I pray that in this new year, may You guide all my thoughts , words and actions, that they may be a blessing unto your Name. Help me honour my promises to You as how You'll honour the promises You made to me and to us all. Lord, please be with me always and keep me close and grounded in Your word and Your love.
Loving You always 'cause You first loved me,
Child of the Most High,
Tamlyn
changeme.
9:24 PM
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Last day of 2008. Makes me really thankful for all I've got. There're just too many tremendous blessings poured into my life this year that the list of thankful things I made earlier on today just can't spell or list down everything.
This year has been really good. Filled with new experiences, great opportunities, two dreams fulfilled.
But I guess I just have this one regret. I sort of grew closer to Him at the start of the year, when the going got tough and I badly needed to draw strength from God. But as the year went on, as I got caught up in the thick of things, I neglected Him. I've always found that I could spend more time with God during the hols, especially the hols. It was a habit I wanted to break, cos God is supposed to be my whole life not just a source of help I go to when I'm free or bored. But this hols, it seems that consumed by all the fun I was getting, God was silently pushed out of the picture. And the thing is, I didn't even make the effort to try to get back on track even after I realised that I was drifting away.
Forgive me Lord. :"(
This shall be my new year's resolution, and I guess a hard one at that. To remember God in all circumstances. I mean, after all that God has given to me, to us, His whole life, what more can I give to Him. Turning all my blessings into praise.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for helping me pull through this year. I pray that as you bless us with yet another brand new year, help me to always remember you in all that I say, do and think. Even as the coming year is going to be another roller-coaster ride, what with the As, SYF, Rapture...Lord Please be with me, my family, my friends.
Amen.
changeme.
11:11 PM
Monday, December 08, 2008
Pyjama girls!
Dance Pres: Big Nut!
Andrea.
Sarah.
The buffet which we paid a lot for...but it tasted good!
changeme.
5:16 PM
Dance Farewell PJ Party!! :D Had lots of fun playing, eating and exploring Cindy's house (it's really realllly BIG)! We'll miss you all loads, seniors!
Cushions for the seniors. (ahem, and accoring to me, the cushions are all filled with our love, so if you squeeze them real tight, our love will ooze out! <3>And yes seniors, if you need a refill, do come back down underground to the dance studio k!) (^^)**
We baked brownies too! mmm... (^^)v
changeme.
4:55 PM
changeme.
4:30 PM
Mommy's birthday@ Delifrance (We really had to be fast to get out food before they ran out! haha.)
Pretty girls waiting for breakfast!
changeme.
4:19 PM
Just got back from Stella Jie jie's (my cousin) wedding in M'sia! She looked so pretty! :) Just am glad for her that she found someone who loves her! haha. Her husband is Norwegian Chinese (how cool is that?) and she's going to live in Australia. Mommy says they might move back to Norway later on. I don't know where's Norway so it sounds really exotic and cool! haha. >_<
Anyway, it was fun dressing up, making up, eating nice food and of course, recording crazy videos on Amelia's phone while waiting for the car to go! My sister's new phone is just so cool...you can zoom in photos till it's really enlarged but still so clear. And after she discovered the fun-ness of the video function, she has ever since been videoing crazy ugly videos of me!! If these clips ever see the light of day, I'll probably die on the spot!! x_X (to prevent any accidental leakage, I've sworn her to secrecy.)
~~~~~~
I'm so excited for my Japan trip! (^^)* Two more days and I'll have one more dream fulfilled! This reminds me that I've been so blessed this year.
Got into the JC that I wanted, fulfilled my dream of dancing in Esplanade, had really good Jap classmates <-- 大好き！and now, getting to go to Japan! Must thank God for all these.
~~~~~~~
Having said that, I need to also apologise to God for being such a horrible daughter and especially sister these past few days... :( I've been disturbing and irritating my elder sister BIG TIME. And of course, she's really angry at me. Then came the news of Ms Lo Hwei Yen, a SIngaporean who was killed in the Mumbai terroist attack. Reading her younger sisters' tributes to her, made me wonder if I should really appreciate my sister's love and concern more. Like Ms Lo, my jie jie is really protective of us. haha. I still remember once during swimming lesson, she actually shouted at the coach cos he wouldn't let us rest from treading water, even though I was like 'drowning' and on the brink of tears!! I don't know what's gotten into me but it's just kinda fun to 'disturb' me sister. But I guess when its a 'mean kind'of fun then it isn't fun anymore...
hmmm...time for some reflection here. :'(
So to kind of make up for my 'wrongdoings', I put in a little more effort for her birthday this time. Will post some birthday photos here, when I get the time. :)
changeme.
4:00 PM
Monday, November 17, 2008
On a lighter note, I am just so happy and relieved that I'm officially done with GSC! :D After a year's of hard work, extra lessons, and last week's super-intensive last revision, today's paper wasn't so bad after all. :) Almost all the questions that laoshi spotted came out and the topic for compre was super similar to a past year paper that I did! Too bad I didn't revise that mindmap that I did, if not I bet I could hanve answered the questions better.
haha. Oh and guess what? I think that the indian invigilator is actually the actor from the Channel 5 sitcom calefare! So cool right? Only that I seem to be the only one to realise that, hmmm, probably because I'm the english-pai one in my class! haha. Anyway, that was just a little highlight.:D
After we were done with the paper, one of our classmates went around saying " see you next year in the caf!" haha. I thought that was very funny!! I guess it's good that we got to clear our H1 this year then I can concentrate on 'bettering' my H2s. especially for bio next year. I wann do well. I hope next year come feb or march, I'll be receiving my PW, Jap and GSC results happily. :) Till then, I'll be praying hard!
I feel so much freer now that my exams for the year are finally over. After "ren-ing" for so long, suppressing my urge to just want to holiday with my other friends after PW, I can finally, rest assuredly do so!
Tmr after dance i'll be going for the opening at Waseda Shibuya Senior High. Hope I won't lose my way! It'll kickstart the 3-day local immersion at this local japanse school. Bet it's gonna be really enjoyable! And it'll be a great chance to brush up my jap speaking skills before I fly off to Japan in dec!
changeme.
10:03 PM
I just can't stand it any longer. I've been dismissing my sister's complains about her CCA as just little whines and grumbles about the joys and sorrows of CCA life. But after I found out the source of her misery, I am just so very APPALLED at the calibre and state of her CCA leadership!! This kind of leaders who misuse their power do not even deserve to be respected or even called one! I am not criticising based one a one-sided story. I was a senior of her current leader and I know fully and clearly how this particular leader slacks big-time during our practices. At that time, we were being nice to her when we just let her be, just making sure she gets her notes right. And now? She has the cheek to scold my sister for taking a few minutes of rest time??? What has the CCA come to? that they should overlook such serious misuse of power. This leader's best friend happens to be in-charge of an activity that my sister takes part in. And this other girl has be depriving the group of juniors under her charge of sufficient rest. While other groups get at least 5 minutes of rest time while doing vigiorous physical activity under the scorching sun, my sister's group only gets a minute! This is not about unfair treatment but of how these leaders misuse their power to the extent that they completely disregard the welfare of those under their charge. These leaders complain that their juniors do not give them enought respect. My question to them is, " Do you give your juniors enough respect yourselves, such that you demand their respect? Are your actions and behaviour worthy of respect?" If they are, I don't see why your juniors do not give you the resepct that you deserve. However, the reality is the opposite. Please reflect on your own actions before you misuse your power and 'dish out' scoldings as if they are the source of your pleasure. Even if the juniors do make mistakes I seriously do NOT think that constant, unthinking scolding would cause them to make positive changes but will only backfire. Do these senoirs really deserve the respect that they want to claim or do they just feed off the misery of those under their charge?
It pains me to see my sister in such torture. To me, CCA should be a fun thing. An outlet for creative expression and enjoyment besides mundane studying. But looking at the state of leadership in that particular CCA now just makes me think otherwise. I really really think that the CCA needs major changes. Or else, just please do something to rectify the wrong attitude some of the student leaders.
I do not have any dislike towards the CCA nor do I want to discredit it. Although I've experience my fair share of 'difficulties' with some of my seniors but that has not disrupted my overall enjoyment in the CCA.
I sincerely appeal to the student leaders of this particular CCA to relfect upon their leadership skills and attitudes and make effective and positive changes to preserve and uphold the good name that their predecessors have built.Only then, can they truly be called leaders and be deserving of respect.
Leaders do not just bark orders. They serve to lead. Most importantly, they are humble and do not misuse the authority bestowed upon them.
changeme.
6:44 PM
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Thank you Mei Ting and Chee Yang for teaching me dance steps today! :)
To Mei Ting: thanks for being so patient! :D (I think you'll make a very good dance teacher!)
To Chee Yang: thanks for demo-ing the steps while I wrote them down! (^^)
haha. I promise I'll practise the steps! (fingers crossed behind my back)
I feel so horrible that I missed dance practices and will have to miss more cos of The Waseda Local Immersion next week. It's not good. :( I'll miss out in Zaki's syf steps and Ms Wee's technique classes. I'll be so behind the rest of them...hmmm...have lots of hard work to do.
But meanwhile, it's GSC first. A level paper next monday! Oh bless my soul.
so till then, I've have to change from 日本語を話している to 讲华语! :)
到时候再见了！
changeme.
10:29 PM
Oh my. I can't believe that I'm such a cuckoo head! :( I was such a silly milly bead today that I actually mised up my exam venue! And it's the As!! Oh my. I'm like the ultimate.
Ok, here's what happened. All along, that is from the oral onwards, I was always under the impression the all my jap papers would be held at the centre itself. I mead, afterall, oral and listening werer held there plus I take my lessons there. Who would have taken note of the subtle difference in number? Tell me who?! Sigh. I guess I can blame no one except myself for this blunder...argh, can't believe I was stupid. I was thought those pple who can actually mix up their exam timing were careless to note check before hand, now I've joined the gang! haha. >_<>
My heart started to flutter with panic. I checked my entry proof. I realised something was seriously seriously wrong when I saw that the venue code for PW was the same for Jap written! I felt like I was living a bad dream! It was 7:07am then. Oh some auspicious time for such a major mix-up. I started to panic. like how, man, how could I make such a mistake! I packed my things and started my marathon/ brisk walk like made to the J8 bus stop. Managed to call rebekah to confirm the venue again, then Xin Ying. I was like praying the how way for God to let Bus 13 come soon but not before i reached the bus stop. I know, my prayer sounds so demanding but I was desperate.
Finally got on the bus. OH my, the ride was like the most nerve-wrecking journey I've ever had, And my stomach chose to feel a little stomach-achy at that time. I was still picturing in my mind, how when I reached the second level in school, I would first run to the toilet no matter what. haha. On the way, I was still receiving good luck smses from my well-meaning jpa classmates. little did they know that I was battling against time! I figured that if I was late, I wouldn's lose out lot cos the paper was 2hours45mins, that's quite a lot of time.
Anyway, after I alighted, i resumed the next half of my marathon. I was really walking like mad. Didn't occured to me to run cos I guess I lose more energy that way. Walked all the way to the CC then I saw the shutters down, I was like What?! How come it's not opened yet? Had to make a detour and thankfully I managed to find my way to the side gate and finally up to the second floor to see Xin Ying and Rebekah outside. I was like PHEW! I had could've died if the side gate was locked. It would have been another long long walk to the front (ask me, I've walked that way like twice, it's really really far.)
So yup my little expedition of sorts ended safely in school. I reached at around 7:45am. Wasn't late. Seeing how I amazingly mixed up my exam venue and then amazingly still managed to not be late for the paper, I should be more thankful to God, more than just laughing at my mistake and complain over what happened.
I mean, if it wasn't for God, I could've been sleeping at the bus stop till like 7:30 and by that time I would be super super late for the paper.
If He hadn't planted that "Eh? something's wrong!" thought in my head, I wouldn't have decided to check my entry proof or called to check.
If it wasn't for God, the bus wouldn't have come just a little faster just so that I could save those little minute.
If it wasn't for Him, who'd watching over me all this while, all my life through, to protect me from dangers unseen, seeing that I'll survive blunders like these and tide through my life storms.
Today's expedition of sorts taught me more than just being more careful and alert especially when it comes to exam details. It taught me not to take God's existence for granted, not to take His grace, His faithful watching-over, His protection for granted. But to really treasure it. It made me love God more. Not just for all the wonderful wonderful things He does. Not for the things He does. But just for who He is. The amazing God who watches over and protects His children. The God of LOVE who forgives and accepts each and every one of us, no matter how undeserving we are, how ugly, fat, unpopular we think we are. He loves us just as we are and it is only right that we love Him back.
Lord, I love YOU. I really do. Lots and Lots. A thousand times over. :)
Thank you for loving me so much more, more than I can love you back. Lord, THANK YOU.
changeme.
9:29 PM
